Goodbye Seattle, Hello Spain

We have been in Spain for exactly a month now. It's been beautiful and amazing and all the things a European adventure should be. But it's also been filled with homesickness (yes, already), paperwork, grumpiness from the heat we just aren't used to, and a profound feeling of being untethered.

We had a very stable, happy life in Seattle. There was nothing wrong with it. We loved our house, the beauty of Washington State, and being near our family. It was the place I was born and raised in. Oscar had lived there for over two decades - half of his life, and thought of it as home, too. Our daughter was born there and was settled into a school she loved with friends.

It was really hard to leave, but something called us forward to something new. Neither of us wanted to grow old and regret never taking action on this dream. Even if it doesn't work out, we know we didn't fail because at least we tried.

The hardest part I think is in the settling. It was all an exciting adventure before we left. Now the reality sets in that we are never going back to our house - someone else lives there now. We aren't on a simple vacation where we can come home and see family. We talk with them on the phone, but already I miss the interactions you get only from being in the same room as someone. The comments you make as you're watching a show together, the silent moments where you're sitting and watching the sunset or the beach or some other view and words don't need to be spoken. The high five we give my grandma every time she answers the door. The rattling my mom and I do of all our worries and thoughts as we walk along a hiking trail. Lily playing with our friend's kids or my nieces in the other room as all the adults play games.

We don't have a place of our own just yet. We are staying with our generous and wonderful friends while we figure out the logistics of setting up a new life here. I'm working on my Spanish of course, and it's very helpful to have Oscar, but I miss being able to fully connect with people beyond the surface level.

Of course it's only been one month. I think the uncertainty of whether all of this will work out and knowing we are in a place that is still new to us is making all of these feelings amplified.

That's not to say we have made a mistake - because we haven't. We are travelers and adventurers at heart and I think we lost some of that a bit over the years. I don't always feel very brave (you should see me around spiders), but I am proud of myself for being brave enough to go for this dream despite whatever happens.

We have also found a part of Spain that speaks to our hearts, and I can't wait until we can find our own place and settle there. I'm ready for our daily routine again but just a little bit slower paced. Maybe I even get to walk Lily to school. I rarely got to take her before.

Over the years, I saw other people achieving dreams like this. I remember following one woman online who moved to Paris for a summer and has now lived there for a decade. Oscar and I watched a sailing couple's YouTube adventures for many years and thought "we should do something like that." I read travel books from people and often thought "wow, they wrote a book. That's so cool. I wish I could do that someday."

When I look at our lives five years from now, I don't know if it's here, back in the Pacific Northwest, or an entirely different country. But I do know that this decision has truly transformed me. I know I can do hard things. I can pursue the dreams I have and as long as I take the steps, they can happen. Things might not always go according to plan. But what once seemed like something only other people achieved, and only truly brave people did, is no longer the case. I know I have the strength and ability to do these things too.

I'm just a regular person chasing my dreams. I hope this little blog inspires you, in some way, to chase yours as well.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

•